I’ve seen extensive debates on social and mainstream media about life on benefits. The issue is highly polarised, particularly about the standard of living that those on benefits ‘enjoy’. Opinions vary on whether the benefits system is too generous, discouraging people who could work from doing so because they are ‘better off’ on benefits.
On 30 March, the Daily Mail front page headline criticised new benefit increases, calling it “Betrayal of the strivers”, and some of the language shows a particular attitude: “Benefit claimants will see their handouts rise by 6.2 per cent”; “Thousands of jobless families will receive windfalls worth thousands”. The impression is that people receiving benefits are getting undeserved “handouts” and “windfalls”.
To redress the balance, I interviewed a friend who has been on benefits for eight years, to hear her story. Rhiannon is a highly articulate, erudite woman with a past career as a sales and customer service manager, ending her working life as an NHS administration manager before her health intervened.
Benefits are vital for those in poor health
Rhiannon told me about several serious conditions. She has severe osteoporosis and herniated disks in her spine, as well as wedge fractures. She has broken twelve bones in the last ten years and retired from her NHS role after breaking an ankle while working. She has also been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, cyclic vomiting syndrome, ADHD, and depression and anxiety. Listening to her over the phone, you would never guess her range of conditions, yet these afflictions combine to present her with a range of challenges for living a fulfilling life.
Some may fail to see the additional issues and unseen expenses which Rhiannon must bear, given her conditions. Her back issues need aids to help her stand up from sitting positions. When her fibromyalgia flares, she becomes extremely cold and has to have the heating on, despite the expense.
She had to choose a particular model of car to accommodate being able to get in and out. She tells others it’s leased, as mentioning Motability sparks a series of ill-informed and negative comments about luxury vehicles.
When walking isn’t feasible, she has to get paid help to walk her dog and also pay for taxis when driving to appointments becomes impossible. All of these add additional strain to a restricted budget.
Benefits help to make ends meet
Rhiannon told me she receives mobility allowance, paid directly to Motability, to fund her car (a small plain VW), a necessity or she would be housebound. She also has her rent paid. The universal credit benefit paid directly to her is less than £800 a month, which has to cover everything else. This is hardly the riches that benefits critics would like to claim. This budget creates a variety of issues; it’s not easy to put aside chunks of money for future expenditure such as higher winter energy bills. Similarly, if a major appliance breaks, it’s hard to find the money to replace it.
In addition, financial restrictions can isolate people from social contact on financial grounds. Rhiannon’s family often organise family celebrations like birthdays and it’s common for Rhiannon to decide if she can afford the restaurant. Excuses like car trouble have to be invented to diplomatically duck out of events due to lack of money.
Well-meaning but unhelpful advice
Another challenge is (mostly) well-meaning but inappropriate advice; such advice often emanates from a superficial understanding of the person’s conditions or false assumptions about what they are already doing.
On the health side, it’s: “Get out for a walk”; “Do Pilates”; “How about weight training?”; “It’s just a temporary down feeling – you can snap out of it.”
Simplistic financial advice doesn’t help either: “Shop at Aldi/ Lidl” (have they not thought of that already?); “Set aside money to save up for things” (when every penny is spent surviving today).
Advice about working is little better: “You’ll feel better with a job”; “Maybe do 16 hours a week?” sounds good until you ask where such a job can be found. Rhiannon tells me she would really appreciate the discipline and structure of having a part-time job again and its potential positive impact on her mental health, but finding one is a remote prospect given her age and medical history.
Frustration at not feeling seen and understood
Talking to Rhiannon, it’s easy to sense the frustration she feels at the superficial judgements that family and friends make and the solutions they offer. Her more affluent immediate family make no allowances for her situation in terms of any financial assistance. She also frequently feels negatively judged over her medical conditions, where people have underestimated the impact on her life. “I feel invisible,” she tells me, “except when a babysitter is needed at short notice”.
Rhiannon is not alone and by no means exceptional in her circumstances. I spoke to several other friends in similar situations and heard similar stories of misunderstanding and stigmatisation. I have put together their suggestions for being a more helpful family member or friend.
Know your facts and offer specific personalised advice
Firstly, it’s worth reading up on schemes like Universal Credit, PIP and Motability. Too many people express opinions on these schemes without ever understanding the realities of how they work. Know the facts before commenting.
Talk to people about their specific circumstances and the factors that uniquely impact their situation, rather than making assumptions and offering advice based on generalised beliefs. This can help avoid offering well-intentioned but mistargeted advice through not fully understanding the individual’s unique personal situation.
Generalised advice without full understanding can be patronising and dispiriting for the receiver. Another friend in similar circumstances told me that it’s much better to ask what would meaningfully help them and offer this, instead of giving unsolicited advice.
Don’t always trust the press; check the facts
It’s also worth reading up on the statistics on benefit fraud. Some elements of the press promote a narrative suggesting that fraudulent abuse of the system is widespread. Educate yourself on the true numbers and remember that a tabloid story about a single outrageous abuse of the system is not evidence of widespread benefit fraud. Most people on disability benefits did not choose disability and would happily swap their benefits to be healthy again. Don’t be someone who stigmatises; claiming universal credit and PIP are stigmatising enough.
Equally importantly, I believe we should all be more charitable about benefits recipients being able to afford some small luxuries. Some people seem to adopt an attitude that recipients don’t deserve any nice things at all. We all enjoy the odd frivolity; let’s not adopt a ‘workhouse mentality’ and deny people any simple pleasures.
Taking these steps can help to be a real ally to a friend or family member who survives on benefits. In my view, it’s worth the effort to be an effective, caring supporter.
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