Twas the time before recess and all through the House,
Groups of Tories were meeting, to grumble and grouse.
They’d dreamed of the power to rewrite the rules,
But Boris’s antics just made them look fools.
They’d trusted his word, they’d believed in his schtick
And the visions he floated, but now they felt sick.
In spite of the way they had splashed out the money
The voters had realised the joke wasn’t funny,
And the polls were in freefall as people had seen
That a man who can lie both to them and the Queen
Isn’t fit to be thought of as one to be trusted,
His electoral magic was totally busted.
As they opened their emails, they read in their post
Just what the electorate disliked the most;
“While Boris and Hancock were handing out bungs,
My grandad got Covid and coughed up his lungs.”
“Do not tell me Boris was doing his best,
When my mum’s in a coma, a tube in her chest.”
“He clapped for my daughter, and all NHS staff,
Then made them wear bin bags. Are you having a laugh?”
We must never forget that this mob took control,
On the strength of a hugely discredited poll,
An advisory vote based on too many lies
Which delivered a simply astonishing prize.
Now they’ve cheated our fishermen, sold out our farmers
Cut standards that helped to protect us, not harm us,
Polluted our waterways, rivers and seas
And believe it’s OK if they drown refugees.
They are scapegoating migrants and anyone ‘other’,
Someone’s father or sister or mother or brother.
A man who would threaten for one single minute
To damage their Brexit, to trap it, to bin it,
Is a threat to their egos and all of their dreams.
(Though the country is falling apart at the seams.)
But will those at the top such as Javid or Truss,
Allow him to fall without making a fuss?
Let’s imagine, then, how things might play out this week
as the Tories reveal their position is bleak.
First, they’ll vote against Johnson’s new Omicron plan,
Because Labour supports it, it means that they can.
But if they rebel in a large enough block,
Then Johnson is weakened and totally crock.
The election in Shropshire looks too close to call,
Just imagine the shock if this seat were to fall.
A Conservative seat in the safest of places,
But the Johnson effect blows it up in their faces.
That might be the moment they send in a letter,
Demanding they dump him, to get someone better.
Come Rees-Mogg, come Dorries, come Baker and Truss,
You created this monster, you cannot blame us.
We will watch you decline and eventually fall,
And the Men in Grey Suits make arrangements to call.