When Gordon Grainger’s granddad went to Heaven he didn’t take his glasses or his hat. He didn’t take his money with him either, and lucky Gordon HE got some of that. Now good old Gordon Grainger’s only seven and I thought he was surely my best friend. But now he just ignores me when I see him. Now he’s got a pile of cash to spend. I saw him in the cafe just last Sunday, sitting with the posh kids in their caps. Gordon had a Knickerbocker Glory. I wished that he would drop it in his lap. Now my gramp hasn’t toddled off to Heaven, I asked him, “When you do, what will I get?” He bent down and he whispered in my ear hole, “I have no plans to go up there just yet.” And then he told me not to envy Gordon. “Money isn’t everything,” he said. He said, “You’ve always had all I can give you. You’ve inherited my genes.” I turned and FLED! I hurried straight outside where I found Gordon. When I told him he looked frightened as a mouse. He might have got a Tenner from HIS granddad, but I was getting genuine Levi Strauss.
A B Wyze 2012©
You can hear A B Wyze on Radio Northampton, available from BBC Sounds until 29 March – Bernie Keith’s 3/3/2022 show on BBC Radio Northampton.
If you scroll about 44 minutes in, you will be able to hear AB Wyze’s interview with Bernie Keith.
(published in Grannies and Granddads and Other Odd Folk)