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              Home Lifestyle Poetry

              Pets talk

              A.B. Wyze offers up another nugget of Monday morning verse

              AB WyzebyAB Wyze
              14-02-2022 09:00
              in Poetry
              Author's own image

              Author's own image

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              “Dogs can’t talk no, not a word
              they’d rather chew a bone.
              Cats can’t talk but think they can,
              and in that they’re alone.
              Fish can’t talk their lips do move
              but words just do not come.
              Guinea pigs, chinchillas too...
              they both are just as dumb.
              Tortoises can’t talk at all
              they’re happy in their shell.
              And hairy eight-legged spiders
              they are all quite mute as well.
              Rabbits? No, they cannot talk
              they’d rather chew a carrot.
              So, I’ll just talk to myself...
              WE NEED ANOTHER PARROT!”

              A B Wyze 2013©
              From Cats and Kites and Marmalade
              Random Whimsy with illustrations 30 poems 77 pages

              You can listen to AB Wyze’s poetry readings at Beat Radio – the schedule for when AB Wyze is on is accessible HERE. David’s slot is 10.15 to 10.30 each Monday, on the the Morning Show – With Ian Griffiths & Mr AB Wyze

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              AB Wyze

              AB Wyze

              I was born David Wood in the front bedroom of 5 Oval Crescent Rushden Northants on the 2nd of May in 1951. One of seven children I attended Newton Road Infants and Junior schools before getting my secondary education at the Technical Grammar school in Weaver’s Road Wellingborough. For almost my entire working life I was a painter and decorator. I am married with one child and two grandchildren. I wrote my first poem at about the age of 8. I have always been fascinated by the rhyming word, to such an extent that at times I even think in rhyme. I began self-publishing at around 2012. I became more prolific when I imagined myself to be an author/illustrator of children’s picture books. It wasn’t until I wrote the poem Tanners and Bobs that I realised my true vocation. Over the years I have written almost a thousand poems, the great majority of which are whimsical humour. The poem Tanners and Bobs actually went viral on the internet in 2020. It was only half of the poem but it was shared so many times that it can now be googled. Unfortunately, it travelled without my name and several people have laid claim to it. So that was why I decided to publish poems aimed at the more senior amongst us. I invented the name A B Wyze by punching different names into Google until one was not recognised and so far as I know I am still the only person using that name on the internet. I have published eight more books along with Back in the Days of Tanners and Bobs. They cover a multitude of subjects and in the main, all the poems are either funny or just plain entertaining. I always try to write in verse with perfect meter and rhyme. As A B Wyze I am extremely easy to find on Amazon and just lately my book sales have noticeably increased. Either one of my poetry books would make an excellent and inexpensive present. It would truly be the gift that keeps on giving. Many of my customers have contacted me to say how much they enjoy the poems and how they often read my books again and again. I often describe myself as the lovechild of Spike Milligan and Pam Ayres…I think that is just about spot on.

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