I have often admired folk who had a determination to succeed in a chosen career and ultimately fulfilled their quest. Truth is, I still don’t know what I want to be. Aged 19 I ended up in the police; an organisation that would look after me and provide an identity and purpose. This choice seemed a better option than the army where I ran the risk of being shot at in a faraway land.
After 21 years of employment safety, various drivers culminated in me being propelled into the domain of running my own business without the spectre of a boss pulling my chain. But what is the most preferable course of action? Making it up as you go along versus having a dream that may become reality, or alternatively, and more likely, be lost to the brutality of life. This quandary remained dormant until I took my partners in crime – Arthur (aged five) and his sister Darcie (aged three) – to the Science Museum in London, whereupon, a few days later, Darcie proudly declared: “I want to be an astronaut!”
The beauty of career dreams
Darcie’s verve inclines me to believe she has the attitude to emulate Eleanor Roosevelt’s disputed but nonetheless optimistic view that “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” But, for the majority of people, life tends to get in the way and wonder and naivety is usually replaced by woe and negativity.
Research on the dreams of four to eight-year-olds at the Institute of Behavioural Sciences at Semmelweis University in Budapest, Hungary, concluded that as children grow, their cognitive and emotional development can lead to changes in their interests and aspirations, with significant changes occurring in the content and nature from early childhood to adolescence. Although this may seem unsurprising, what is nonetheless fascinating is the existence of this enquiry that seeks to unpick the beautiful human trait of dreaming.
Furthermore, in Dreaming, a journal of the American Psychological Association, studieshave shown how societal expectations, family influence, and educational opportunities shape career choices and the pursuit of dreams which can sometimes steer individuals away from their childhood aspirations. The sobering fact that neither of Darcie’s parents work at NASA may have some influence on her extraterrestrial ambitions.
Given that I entered the rat race in my late teens without a life plan, how can I nevertheless offer some credible support for Darcie’s fabulous vision, before life – and all of its challenges – becomes all consuming? What inherent dangers lie ahead in growing up and how can I better protect her?
We’re often too young to make a career plan
Bizarrely, and contrary to popular belief, we do not reach full maturity until around the age of 25 when the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and reasoning, is fully developed. Arguably, this fact alone shines a completely new light on the current legal pinch points that allow us to make some of the most critical life decisions. For example: in the UK the legal age of consent for sex is 16, voting in general elections commences at 18, the voting age for local elections (Scotland and Wales) and elections to the Scottish Parliament and Welsh Parliament is 16, you can join the British Army as a soldier at 16, and become a police officer at 18.
Of career choices generally, who are happier – those with a career plan, or those without? Studies within this field are often contradictory. On the one hand, research suggests that having a career plan can contribute to happiness, but it’s not the only factor. People with a clear vocational pathway often experience a sense of direction and purpose, which can lead to higher job satisfaction and overall happiness. Whilst having a career plan can be beneficial, maintaining a positive outlook and being adaptable are equally important for long-term happiness and success.
The grand plan
Thus, my coaching plan for Darcie is pretty straightforward: keep taking her to the Science Museum until her 25th birthday and protect her from any external forces that may seek to disrupt her life goal, unless she consciously determines that she would rather play football for Notts County, whereupon I will achieve my ultimate dream of witnessing the partnership of two of my most precious loves.
In the meantime, I’ll keep dreaming and encourage her and Arthur to do the same, especially when we book our next trip to Orlando where Walt Disney once, according to some sources, proclaimed, “All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.”
