The Princess of Wales’s public announcement of her diagnosis affected many of us. Until you experience it yourself, you really don’t know. You can read all the books and articles you like about the why, where and how of it, but only when you are on the receiving end of a cancer diagnosis do you actually feel its full impact.
That impact, first and foremost, is unique to each individual and their own personal makeup. So when I sat down to watch the Princess of Wales’s very moving piece to camera a few days ago, it was with genuine admiration and personal empathy. Most of us will never be in the position of having to explain ourselves to the world so publicly, and thank goodness for that, but for the royal family the rules are obviously different.
Having to deal with, and manage, the stress of a cancer diagnosis is one thing if you’re a private individual, but I can only imagine the terrible pressure you must feel when under such a suffocating media spotlight. The burden of every single word being scrutinised and the consequences if you get it even slightly wrong; the stark reality that there is nowhere for you to hide, even if you wanted to. If the Princess of Wales has anything in spades, it’s courage.
A cancer diagnosis: how would it affect my children?
In my opinion, there is no right or wrong way to react to having a serious illness. I can only comment on how I, as a 37-year-old, responded to an unexpected breast cancer diagnosis some 30 odd years ago.
I can easily remember my first reaction to receiving the news: how would it affect my children? They were five and three years old at the time and we were in the throes of moving countries, which was in itself logistically complicated and throwing up challenges around my ongoing treatment. Yet the overriding question was always going to be: what is the best way to tell the children that their mother has a life-threatening illness?
It is something that the Princess of Wales’s address dealt with so authentically – the age gap between her children, meaning that each child’s understanding and grasp of information would be met in very different ways.
For my husband and me, it was really a matter of answering questions as honestly as we could and without too much detail. I have to say that both siblings seemed to accept the situation remarkably well. Our son’s main concern was whether I would lose my hair and would I please not pick him up from school with a bald head. I’m not being flippant here; that particular worry was on his little mind rather a lot.
Unconditional support for cancer challenges
Something else that the Princess of Wales touched upon and that struck a chord with me was her mention of Prince William’s comfort and reassurance. The value of unconditional support from family and friends should never be underestimated. It is often the mainstay of how we manage to cope with the continuing challenges surrounding chemotherapy treatments and the practicalities of everyday life. Of course, these may be different in a royal household but they are no less important to every one of us from a humanistic point of view. Without the care, protection and understanding of my own family over these intervening years, I would have had a much harder time handling some of the hurdles that have arisen along the way.
A message of hope
Most of all though, the overriding message behind the Princess of Wales’s words is one of hope. None of us knows what the future might entail but that one word connects us all in ways that offer up the belief in a coming light, despite any current darkness.
Cancer is hard. It can be a bumpy ride for most and the Princess of Wales is no exception. She needs time, in her own words, to heal in mind, body and spirits. I sincerely hope that people in the media will listen and give her the space she deserves, and I wish her all the luck in the world.
