Because I’m smart, because I’m tough
I get to do the tricky stuff.
How long before Ukraine war stops?
A fortnight, maybe. Three weeks, tops.
No US troops will risk their necks.
It’s time the EU wrote some checks.
Will Russia be OK with that?
I talked to Putin, told him flat
and he was fine with it. Surprise!
Some Russian’s saying that’s all lies.
We need to recoup what we spent.
Five hundred billion dollars went
on Biden’s watch. That was a crime
so now I’m saying it’s payback time.
They have these minerals, rare earth.
Sound great, and God knows what they’re worth.
Zelenskyy shouldn’t have picked that fight
but here’s his chance to put it right.
He’s a dictator, on the ropes
who shouldn’t raise his people’s hopes.
Sometimes I get the sense he’s dumb.
He comes here looking like a bum.
This is the White House. Would it hurt
to wear a tie, or iron a shirt?
Vance got it right. He can’t expect
a handout till he shows respect.
Who might get hurt, and how they feel
don’t matter. I just do the deal.
Gaza’s a dream, to say the least
Riviera in the Middle East.
Online they have this video
how it could look. It’s quite the show.
A crossroads in the heart of town
has this huge statue looking down.
Magnficent, it’s brave and bold,
a superhuman made of gold
that everyone looks up to see.
Yup, it’s a monument to me.
There’s me and Bibi in our shorts
relaxing, thinking big men’s thoughts
each with a cocktail in his hand
while Elon jumps around the sand;
he’s so relaxed, without a care
as dollar bills fall through the air.
Some of the Christians in my base
think blasphemy is out of place.
That night club footage where I dance
with gorgeous girls in skimpy pants.
Hey, lighten up. It’s just good fun.
Enjoy the beach, enjoy the sun.
OK, I’m on a par with God.
I don’t get why that seems so odd.
Believe me, things will stay this way.
Republicans will all obey
Cause crossing me would mean defeat.
They know that Musk can buy their seat.
They get the message, scroll the news,
There’s no way I shall ever lose.
This is my moment, it’s my hour;
I am an addict, hooked on power.
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