I’ve just had the pleasure of rereading Watching the English (2004) by Kate Fox, a thorough and entertaining study of Englishness.
Kate Fox is an anthropologist and set herself the task of trying to codify the behaviours that typify an English person, the unspoken rules that a foreign visitor might miss or find mystifying. Fox defines her role as a “participant observer”. It’s worth noting that she limits her observations purely to the English, and not to other UK nations.
The foreword starts with her sitting in a pub, drinking a medicinal brandy, both as a reward for a morning of deliberately bumping into people to observe their behaviour, and also to steel herself for an afternoon of attempted queue-jumping.
The book goes on to cover two main areas: Conversation Codes (what we are allowed to talk about and how we do it), and secondly, Behaviour Codes (how we are expected to behave). It is coupled with amusing anecdotes about how she conducted her field research with examples of typical conversations that she observed and recorded.
Conversation codes – what the English may talk about and how they do it
Any analysis of English conversation codes must start with discussing the weather, and Fox gives a funny and well-observed exposition of the unspoken rules of weather conversation.
The first is the “agreement rule”. When someone comments on the weather, it’s a major faux pas to disagree. It’s compulsory to agree with the speaker. Meeting “Cold, isn’t it?” with “Actually I think it’s quite mild” is a major solecism, unless hedged with heavy qualifying statements, for example: “Yes, but I don’t seem to feel it, so it feels warm to me”.
The author goes on to explain that weather conversations are an example of ‘grooming talk’. Monkeys socialise by grooming each other to build relationships. The English use “grooming talk”, a series of conversational gambits designed to overcome natural reserve and what she refers to as “our social dis-ease”. Incessant weather talk is a convention the English have invented to ask each other “will you talk to me please?”
English men, English women and class
I liked particularly the rules for bonding between females and those between males.
A principal female “bonding talk” conversational gambit uses the “counter compliment” rule. This involves opening the conversation with the paying of a compliment (sometimes accompanied by a self-criticism), for example: “Your hair looks fabulous. Mine always looks so drab.” The response must be a denial coupled with a counter-compliment. “No, my hair’s terrible. I wish I could have it short like you.” Try telling an English woman that you like her dress, and you are likely to be met with something like “Oh, it’s just an old thing I bought a while back. It’s one of the few that still fit me” or something similar.
The principal male equivalent is “mine’s bigger or better than yours”. Male one starts by extolling his chosen ‘mine’, for example, a car. Male two must on principle challenge and scoff at this statement and extol the superior virtues of his choice instead. Agreement with your interlocutor is strictly forbidden, and there is no expectation that you will talk your friend around to your point of view. The point is the banter and the argument, not to reach a rational agreement or a conclusion.
There are also chapters on language and class (is your evening meal tea, dinner or supper?), words that give you away as being ‘lower class’, and rules for ‘pub talk’. Another section deals with the role and rules of humour. There are also specialist chapters on conversation rules in specific groups such as among the riding set.
Behaviour codes – how the English must collectively behave and why
The second part of the book examines English behavioural codes and customs, each chapter looking at a different aspect of life, beginning with the home and its unwritten rules. For example, why you are not allowed to sit in your front garden if you have one. Only the back garden is permissible.
Another chapter covers travel, including the importance of denial on public transport – pretending that other passengers don’t exist and not acknowledging them, and the use of books and newspapers as “barrier signals”. This is also the chapter that explains the rules governing queueing. Clearly no book on the English could omit such a discussion.
The chapter on work describes the ambivalent attitude to work of the English, the role of modesty and irony, why discussions about money – especially earnings – are almost forbidden, and rules about after work drinking, office parties, and so on.
Play, pleasure, rites of passage and more
The author discusses how the English play and explains the unstated rules relating to leisure activities, gardening, watching TV, and reading – I love the section on “bogside reading”. For sports and games Fox explains why, as participants “fair play” is so important, and why, as spectators, we must always support the underdog at Wimbledon. The “rules of shopping” is another hilarious section, including what it is socially acceptable to buy at Marks and Spencer for different social classes.
Other chapters discuss the rules of dress, sex and food – including what you can and can’t talk about over dinner. The final chapter in this section explores rites of passage. The English are largely ambivalent about organised religion. Involvement is often limited to what vicars call “hatching, matching and dispatching”.
An affectionate, incisive analysis of Englishness
Watching the English concludes with a review of what we can learn from a distillation of all these rules and tries to define the essence of what it means to be English and how it governs behaviour in every aspect of life.
My view is that the book is very well written, and that the author has acutely observed the minutiae of the unconscious learned behaviours of the English, writing about them with accuracy, humour and affection.
Having managed international teams, I used to give a copy at my own expense to new members of my team to give them some idea of what could be expected from me in terms of behaviour. I can remember the knowing grins when they observed me “being like it says in your book”.
Overall Fox’s book is an excellent, humorous and absorbing read, and a good guide on what to look for if you make a hobby of people-watching!
