The Largan List

POSITION

TREND

MP

CONSTITUENCY

PARTY

EVENT

DETAIL

DATE

1

Straight in

Andrew Bridgen

North West Leicestershire

Bash the Beeb award

Mr Bridgen appeared on Newsnight to berate the BBC over the behaviour of its reporter Martin Bashir. Whilst Mr Bashir undoubtedly employed deceitful practices to obtain an interview from Princess Diana, Mr Bridgen, like most Brexiters, appears to be stuck in the past, seemingly unaware that this interview occurred in 1995. On the programme, he called for the BBC to make extensive changes, apparently completely oblivious to the fact that in the twenty six years since the interview, the BBC has indeed done precisely that.

May 2021

2

Brendan Clarke-Smith

Bassetlaw

Bunting Award

Mr Clarke-Smith joins several other Central Bylines MPs in running to Auntie after BBC Breakfast presenters gently teased Robert Jenrick about the flag in his house. Another reminder that there ain’t no snowflake like a Tory snowflake.

Mar 2021

3

Daniel Kaczynski

Shrewsbury and Atcham

Bunting Award

Mr Kaczynski joins several other Central Bylines MPs in running to Auntie after BBC Breakfast presenters gently teased Robert Jenrick about the flag in his house. Another reminder that there ain’t no snowflake like a Tory snowflake.

Mar 2021

4

John Hayes

South Holland and the Deepings

Bunting Award

Mr Hayes joins several other Central Bylines MPs in running to Auntie after BBC Breakfast presenters gently teased Robert Jenrick about the flag in his house. Another reminder that there ain’t no snowflake like a Tory snowflake.

5

Jonathan Gullis

Stoke on Trent North

Bunting Award

Mr Gullis joins several other Central Bylines MPs in running to Auntie after BBC Breakfast presenters gently teased Robert Jenrick about the flag in his house. Another reminder that there ain’t no snowflake like a Tory snowflake.

6

Lee Anderson

Ashfield

Bunting Award

Mr Anderson joins several other Central Bylines MPs in running to Auntie after BBC Breakfast presenters gently teased Robert Jenrick about the flag in his house. Another reminder that there ain’t no snowflake like a Tory snowflake.

7

Marco Longhi

Dudley North

Bunting Award

Mr Longhi joins several other Central Bylines MPs in running to Auntie after BBC Breakfast presenters gently teased Robert Jenrick about the flag in his house. Another reminder that there ain’t no snowflake like a Tory snowflake.

8

James Wild

North West Norfolk

Honorary Bunting Award

As an MP outside Central Bylines usual remit, Mr Wild can win only an honorary bunting award for publicly expressing his disappointment about the number of flags that Auntie keeps in her drawers. Poor Auntie. At this rate, soon she will not have room in her drawers for her actual drawers.

Mar 2021

9

NEW

Pauline Latham

Mid Derbyshire

Slipped Mask award

This week, reports have reached Central Bylines of the two faces of Mrs Latham. The former Mayor of Derby invariably wears a smile when out and about in public. Within the confines of a private car, however, it seems she feels able to let the mask slip. We have it on good authority that in the space of one 90 minute journey (taken several years ago), she spoke insultingly of a non-Tory colleague on a select committee and disparaged her driver continually, to the point that they felt compelled to ask her not to speak to them

May 2021

10

John Hayes

South Holland and The Deepings

In a marked departure from his usual honking about the horrors of cancel culture, Sir John is using the national broadcaster to try and silence a government department. Historic England (which comes under the umbrella of the Department of Digital, Culture, Media and Sport) has reported on the fact that a number of places in Lincolnshire have links to slavery in their past. Sir John seems to want the report to be..um..cancelled.

Mar 2021

Lee Anderson

Ashfield

SERVICES TO MENTAL HEALTH

Mr Anderson hosts a live quiz via Facebook and is asked about child poverty by a viewer. The MP makes a crass attempt to silence his questioner by saying that he’s probably on medication and must have escaped from somewhere.

Feb 2021

Lee Anderson

Ashfield

GAGGING ORDER

Mr Anderson threatens a journalist for writing an article he doesn’t like. Chad reporter, Katrina Taylor wrote an article about Mr Anderson’s habit of blocking constituents on social media. Mr Anderson responded in a public facebook post, saying she had crossed a line and he would be speaking with the editor.

Feb 2021

Karl McCartney

Lincoln

Champion

Karl McCartney brushes off a demand by the Royal College of Nursing for a pay rise for their members, calling it “one for the fairies”. There will be no increase for nurses in next week’s Budget. In fact, the most experienced front-liners are £6144 per year worse off than a decade ago because wages have not kept up with inflation. Mr McCartney, on the other hand, has happily accepted eight pay rises in the last ten years.

Feb 2021

Lee Anderson

Ashfield

Clueless

These keen advocates of Brexit send a revealing letter to the Prime Minister. We learn that they have no idea what Brexit actually means (despite voting for it), that they think it’s OK to make jokes when discussing the collapse of an entire industry together with the loss of livelihood of all the people involved and that their grasp of grammar is as dodgy as their humour.

Andrew Bridgen

North West Leicestershire

Clueless

These keen advocates of Brexit send a revealing letter to the Prime Minister. We learn that they have no idea what Brexit actually means (despite voting for it), that they think it’s OK to make jokes when discussing the collapse of an entire industry together with the loss of livelihood of all the people involved and that their grasp of grammar is as dodgy as their humour.

Phillip Hollobone

Kettering

Clueless

These keen advocates of Brexit send a revealing letter to the Prime Minister. We learn that they have no idea what Brexit actually means (despite voting for it), that they think it’s OK to make jokes when discussing the collapse of an entire industry together with the loss of livelihood of all the people involved and that their grasp of grammar is as dodgy as their humour.

Clueless

These keen advocates of Brexit send a revealing letter to the Prime Minister. We learn that they have no idea what Brexit actually means (despite voting for it), that they think it’s OK to make jokes when discussing the collapse of an entire industry together with the loss of livelihood of all the people involved and that their grasp of grammar is as dodgy as their humour.

Peter Bone

Wellingboroug

Clueless

These keen advocates of Brexit send a revealing letter to the Prime Minister. We learn that they have no idea what Brexit actually means (despite voting for it), that they think it’s OK to make jokes when discussing the collapse of an entire industry together with the loss of livelihood of all the people involved and that their grasp of grammar is as dodgy as their humour.

Sarah Dines

Derbyshire Dales

BLOCKED

Ms Dines blocks a constituent on Facebook for pointing out links between MPs and private healthcare. Abusive stuff, I’m sure you agree.

Feb 2021

Desmond Swayne

New Forest West

DANGEROUS DESMOND

Jan 2021

NEW ENTRY

Nadhim Zahawi

Stratford upon Avon

Time machine

The under-secretary of state for the vaccine claims on television - not once but several times - that he possesses an ingenious machine that can reverse the passing of time. Gasp when you see the dazzling switcheroo of March and April! Groan as you realise that, in reality, he probably doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Feb 2021

John Hayes

South Holland and the Deepings

Sir John uses his right of free speech to moan loudly about being silenced by cancel culture. In his column for his local newspaper - the mouthpiece of his community.

NEW ENTRY

Liz Truss

South West Norfolk

Ostrich

The secretary of state for international trade is refusing to answer questions in the House of Commons relating to the UK’s trading relationship with Europe. Her excuse? That as secretary of state for for international trade, trade with Europe is not her problem.

Amanda Solloway

Derby North

COOK DA BOOKS

Ms Solloway lets slip that the Department of Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy is far from businesslike when it comes to its accounts. No-one in the department has any idea how much they spent in advertising and marketing in the run up to Brexit at the end of last year. Or if they do know, they certainly aren’t saying.

Feb 2021

Boris Johnson

Uxbridge and South Ruislip

The WOAT award

On the day after the UK mourns the death of 100,000 of its citizens from Covid-19, East Midlands Bylines notes the seemingly-endless list of government errors, negligence and cronyism that led us to this point, notes also the complete lack of remorse or acknowledgement from the government and awards Boris Johnson the accolade of Worst Of All Time.

Jan 2021

Robert Largan

High Peak

Change the record, will you?

Robert Largan’s publicly-promoted desire for his voting record to be examined in detail is taken literally by his constituents.

Jan 2021

Amand Solloway

Derby North

SPACE CADET

Ms Solloway declares herself Minister for the Universe. Obviously, Derby North is not big enough to contain a star such as she.

Robert Jenrick

The Morning After award

As the UK suffers 100,000 deaths from Covid-19, Robert Jenrick appears on Good Morning Britain. Despite a horrifying litany of errors provided for him by Piers Morgan and Susanna Reid, he’s clueless to think of anything the government might have done differently.

Jan 2021

John Hayes

South Holland and the Deepings

DOG WHISTLE

Sir John leads the hail of anti-semitic dogwhistles from the Conservative ‘Common Sense Group’ as first signatory of a letter to The Daily Telegraph stating their mission is ‘to ensure British values are not coloured by the cultural Marxist dogma.’

Nov 2020

Edward Leigh

Gainsborough and Horncastle

Edward Leigh leads the hail of anti-semitic dogwhistles from the Conservative ‘Common Sense Group’ as first signatory of a letter to The Daily Telegraph stating their mission is ‘to ensure British values are not coloured by the cultural Marxist dogma.’

Nov 2020

Lee Anderson

DOG WHISTLE

Lee Anderson leads the hail of anti-semitic dogwhistles from the Conservative ‘Common Sense Group’ as first signatory of a letter to The Daily Telegraph stating their mission is ‘to ensure British values are not coloured by the cultural Marxist dogma.’

Nov 2020

Pauline Latham

Mid Derbyshire

DOG WHISTLE

Pauline Latham leads the hail of anti-semitic dogwhistles from the Conservative ‘Common Sense Group’ as first signatory of a letter to The Daily Telegraph stating their mission is ‘to ensure British values are not coloured by the cultural Marxist dogma.’

Nov 2020

Karl McCartney

Lincoln

DOG WHISTLE

Karl McCartney leads the hail of anti-semitic dogwhistles from the Conservative ‘Common Sense Group’ as first signatory of a letter to The Daily Telegraph stating their mission is ‘to ensure British values are not coloured by the cultural Marxist dogma.’

Nov 2020

Ben Bradley

Mansfield

DOG WHISTLE

Ben Bradley leads the hail of anti-semitic dogwhistles from the Conservative ‘Common Sense Group’ as first signatory of a letter to The Daily Telegraph stating their mission is ‘to ensure British values are not coloured by the cultural Marxist dogma.’

Nov 2020

Brendan Clarke-Smith

Bassetlaw

DOG WHISTLE

Brendan Clarke-Smith leads the hail of anti-semitic dogwhistles from the Conservative ‘Common Sense Group’ as first signatory of a letter to The Daily Telegraph stating their mission is ‘to ensure British values are not coloured by the cultural Marxist dogma.’

Nov 2020

Andrew Lewer

Northampton South

DOG WHISTLE

Andrew Lewer leads the hail of anti-semitic dogwhistles from the Conservative ‘Common Sense Group’ as first signatory of a letter to The Daily Telegraph stating their mission is ‘to ensure British values are not coloured by the cultural Marxist dogma.’

Nov 2020

NEW ENTRY

Grant Schapps

Welwyn Hatfield

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND

Feb 2021

Lee Anderson

Ashfield

Snout in the trough

Mr Anderson claimed £6,386 in councillor allowances during 2020. It is not illegal for MPs to continue as councillors once elected but they generally step down as soon as practicable and the decent ones do not claim their councillor allowances on top of their £81,932 salary. Mr Anderson is still a councillor for Mansfield DC, although it might be hard to spot him as he has missed 15 out of the last 18 council meetings.

Brendan Clarke-Smith

Bassetlaw

Snout in the trough

Mr Clarke-Smith claimed £4,987 in councillor allowances during 2020. It is not illegal for MPs to continue as councillors once elected but they generally step down as soon as practicable and the decent ones do not claim their councillor allowances on top of their £81,932 salary. Mr Clarke-Smith is still a councillor for Newark & Sherwood Borough Council.

Claudia Webbe

Leicester East

Snout in the trough

Ms Webbe claimed £10,808 in councillor allowances during 2020. It is not illegal for MPs to continue as councillors once elected but they generally step down as soon as practicable and the decent ones do not claim their councillor allowances on top of their £81,932 salary. Ms Webbe is still a councillor for Islington.

Feed the crack dens

During the Free School Meals scandal, Ben Bradley suggests that the food vouchers distributed to families in need go straight to crack dens and brothels in his constituency.

Karl McCartney

Lincoln

Karl McCartney has been warned - again - by the Judicial Conduct Investigations Office not to use his status as a magistrate to promote his political activities.

This MP has switched off their twitter replies, thereby reducing their accounts to loud hailers for Conservative HQ.

Darren Henry

Broxstowe

This MP has switched off their twitter replies, thereby reducing their accounts to loud hailers for Conservative HQ.

Gareth Davies

Grantham and Stamford

LOUD HAILER AWARD

This MP has switched off their twitter replies, thereby reducing their accounts to loud hailers for Conservative HQ.

Who needs constituents when your mates will do it?

During the General Election campaign, Lee Anderson gets caught on camera setting up a fake door-stepping interview with a friend. Daily Mail journalist Michael Crick gleefully makes it public.

An honourable mention goes to the then-Brexit Secretary for his comment that UK trade is “particularly reliant on the Dover-Calais crossing.” With disarming frankness, Raab admitted he hadn’t quite understood that fact.

40 year old Brendan Clarke-Smith snaffles a dose of the vaccine after a shift volunteering at Retford Hospital. Meanwhile, 1 in 5 over-80s in his area has not yet had their first dose.